While speaking during the Texas legislative session, representative Tom Alvin (R) Altruria, dropped something unexpected on the House floor. Upon picking up the item, cameras caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a marijuana cigarette.
He quickly put it back in his pocket as legislators looked on and then continued to speak. Several DPS officers were on hand but did not seem concerned about Rep. Alvin’s possession of an illegal substance.
Ironically, the bill being discussed pertained to decreasing penalties for the possession of small amounts of cannabis. If passed, the bill would change state law and no longer jail those with small amounts and would instead only require a fine.
Rep. Alvin spoke in opposition to the bill stating “marijuana is a deadly and dangerous drug. It ruins people’s lives and is so addictive that people can become hooked on it just by touching it. We have to keep in mind that allowing any steps towards its legalization will ensure that children have access to this drug. Only by keeping it illegal and imposing tough sentences can we continue to ensure that this plant is no longer consumed by people who should not have it.”
After the session adjourned Rep. Alvin was questioned about the joint he had in his pocket and his remarks made in opposition to the bill.
“Well obviously state legislators enjoy special privileges that other people do not” he stated. As for his stance towards the penalty reduction bill he remarked “times are tough, budgets are tight and we have to make the best use of the state’s money. Having our police focus their time and effort on keeping these dangerous criminals away from society is a major priority, not to mention the jobs we are able to create in the prison and judicial system in general. Without jailing these people, we could be looking at creating more unemployment. It just isn’t economically sound to let these people go with just a ticket. We must have zero tolerance.”
As legislators struggle to tackle budget issues this session, funding to schools has been cut back. Over 800,000 people per year are jailed over possession of cannabis.
By: George M. Spooner
George may be contacted via email at tribuneheraldnews@gmail.com
Tagged: Altruria, cannabis, George Spooner, House of Representatives, joint, marijuana, politics, satire, Texas, weed
Tribune Herald 
Is this a real quote? An elected official actually said putting people in jail helps with unemployment numbers? Wow.
“Well obviously state legislators enjoy special privileges that other people do not” he stated. As for his stance towards the penalty reduction bill he remarked “times are tough, budgets are tight and we have to make the best use of the state’s money. Having our police focus their time and effort on keeping these dangerous criminals away from society is a major priority, not to mention the jobs we are able to create in the prison and judicial system in general. Without jailing these people, we could be looking at creating more unemployment. It just isn’t economically sound to let these people go with just a ticket. We must have zero tolerance.”
Wouldn’t surprise me if it was. Not long ago Pennsylvania’s jackass of a Governor said that state’s unemployment is so high because no potential employers can find anyone to hire who can pass a drug test.
PA will never legalize until liquor stores go to privitzation. then it leaves all those state stores open for the MJ. if corbett wants to stay here as governor he better make all that happen before 2014 election cause it will take a miracle to keep his job
and drug-testing is a direct violation of human rights millions of people get it every year and and apparently if your around somebody smoking weed you get a big ol +
for weed or lets say you were in the hospital and you had hurt your arm and dock gave you 10 Vicodin and you take em and your currently looking for a job and your disqualified from everyone before even getting interviewed even with a dock note so again its another scam in the medical field there are so many people buy in to we never really had a unemployment issue before we started drug-testing everybody would rather label instead of help people with there troubles and guess what its your fault my fault and everybody else because we don’t hold the government accountable for what its doing to us we are sheep government corralld its sheep in to whatever it sees fit so if you believe somebody using drugs for pleasure or just because also consider that person dose not understand nor have the personal strength to pick he or she up from what happened to them so yes lets penalise druggies lets lock them all away simple.. only were not created equal and people need to raise up and know this we have advertising that’s catered to sell us what we need so why is it soo hard to sell liberty ? and not buy what everybody else says because what everybody else says is only as good as the person who said it first …
Fake.
What makes you think so? Sounds totally consistent with Texas Republican hypocracy to me.
Yup. No such rep, no such county seat. In fact, there is no Altruria anywhere in Texas except for a school named so. Looks like someone borrowed the name from the novel “A Traveler from Altruria”. Did someone from ‘The Onion’ decided to moonlight?
Perhaps the line on the righthand side of the page that clearly states “Tribune Herald is for Satirical Purposes Only” gave it away. Just sayin’.
I knew it was fake when he was quoted as saying “marijuana is a deadly and dangerous drug.” Not even old people think that way any more. I think a politician saying that in session would be laughed at by his fellow politicians. That shit is straight out of the ’50s. Only Mark Pryor of Arkansas could get away with that kind of stupid.
Uhhh, the disclaimer on the page saying it is satire….. also the other stories such as…. Man’s life saved by glass pipe, dies in custody after arrest for paraphernalia
Duh
Dream on Remy
…if this is true he should have been detained… …if it’s not true and just appeared to be a joint, I resort to his words… …“marijuana is a deadly and dangerous drug. It ruins people’s lives and is so addictive that people can become hooked on it just by touching it. We have to keep in mind that allowing any steps towards its legalization will ensure that children have access to this drug.”.. …Rep. Alvin, have you ever heard of cigarettes and alcohol..? …yeah, we have done so well keeping those two, most dangerous drugs, away from our children… …you sir, are part of the problem in America – you have no clue… …just touching it won’t get you hooked you freaking dumb-ass.
Peace… …if we can find it.
Why did this guy write a fake story? It only lessens the impact of the real instances of political arrogance and corruption.
Uhhh, cause he gets paid to write a satire piece. It is called entertainment….
Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.
The Cuckoosphere has been released — no one will heed you.
Why they don’t just legalize and tax it is one of the greatest mysteries of humankind. I would suggest that because marijuana creates a sort of bonding experience between people, we can’t have that because, like, friendship is COMMUNISM, dude!
“We have to keep in mind that allowing any steps towards its legalization will ensure that children have access to this drug.”
Simply put: it is easier for kids to acquire marijuana than booze.
Okay…alcohol killed my dad at 52 two years after he retired from the Army….had he been smoking pot instead, not only would my mom and him never gotten divorced…but he would most likely also be here today…tell Alvin to go suck a dick and do some research before calling an HERB dangerous and deadly….these fucking politicians should be skinned alive or hung.
It’s FAKE news.
“dropped something unexpected on the House floor. Upon picking up the item, cameras caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a marijuana cigarette.”
With-out actually opening the item – for all anyone knows its just tobacco. This worlds sucks – all government and authority is run by children and you are all idiots.
We’ll make you Ruler of the World and everything will be rainbows and ponies.
Flying UNICORN ponies with fairy dust on their wings…
hmmm, Smarter Than You (and others), you might want to consider changing your name after this posting. You are actually getting pissed over a fake story and worse, your limited OPINION has you calling people children and idiots. FB critics should really read the WHOLE page for disclaimers before engaging mouth. Especially if you have ‘smart’ in your name… i’m just sayin
This elected official is a satirical genius.
I hope you saw what he was doing. Don’t crucify him, cannabis advocates; he supports the cannabis cause. (The tip-off: “people get hooked just by touching it.” as he drops and *PICKS UP* a joint.)
I like this guy; he knows what’s up.
Alvin is simply stating aloud what’s already clear here in America – the Rule of Law has been discarded in favor of authoritarianism, in which the powerful are subject to one set of laws, and the powerless to a much larger set of much more draconian laws. After all, we have a privatized for-profit prison system, and those prison CEOs need to make their earnings reports look good with high occupancy and record quarterly profits.
Uhhh, Alvin doesn’t exist. Neither does the alleged town he is from. Thank you for being the straight man in this joke…
Guys — this is SATIRE!!!! I have no idea whatsoever what the owners of this site are thinking because I think it’s pretty goofy — but it clearly states THIS IS A SATIRICAL SITE ONLY
Get them panty stretchers out and get those panties out of a wad! Sheesh!
From “The Second Coming” by W. Yeats: ‘The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.’ And lack of humor.
Liberalism at it’s best, which is the worst…fake story, no such place, no such person, sad thing is, there are (obviously) lots of people out there that will believe ANYTHING they see!! Obviously this is the problem we face today, not only do they believe what they read, they believe what they hear…good grief, start using your heads, think for yourselves…don’t be sheepeoples
At least it’s labeled as satire. The right offers no such disclaimer and has more stories than Walt Disney. And that’s SHEEPLE…just sayin’…get your propaganda right.
nobody gives a flip we will smoke what ever we want to ok so there ya go 🙂
[…] Texas legislator drops marijuana cigarette while speaking on floor […]
Only users lose drugs.
Good one!
A fake story to smear good folks and to rile up some low-information voters … meanwhile the real scandals and abuses of power of the Obama administration are left covered up by the complacent and complicit media. What crappy satire.
Preparation H will help ya see things in a more optimistic way..
“Obviously this is the problem we face today, not only do they believe what they read, ”
Little-known medical fact: Smoking joints makes you gullible. Look it up. That’s why pot smokers believe all sorts of conspiracy nonsense, they’ll believe anything … it’s totally 100% true!
Just follow New York! They have reduced penalties for small time offenders for years, and it’s working!
Is this a parody site like the onion, or is this a real article?
After having the basic intelligence to dig around a bit, (unfortunately, it was after I had shared this without a disclaimer!) I found that this is, indeed, a satirical site. They have a facebook page, which has a very small statement of the satirical nature of their site.
This is true comedy at its very best. I still can’t stop laughing and will need a joint to do so.
God has Blessed humans, especially those who don,t take a tock here and there. Ho HO HO HO HO HO HO HO ad infinitum.
Damn this is the funniest story yet but I believe it because there are many stupid people in our government.
He was just making a joint I mean point about the dangers of illegal drugs “yeah right”
lol the truth when told as a story hopefully highlights the similarities to our current “OZ” system. When folks lock up other folks for a belief in saving them and the community – it’s a no brainer – Let’s evolve and help each other – Let’s live in a world where we lift each other up in a grand symphony of kindness and caring. Love not Hate!
This has to be a spoof article, just testing the gullibility of people to the media .. surely ? Either that or the gullibility of people allowing these type of creatures in the state legislature.
fact check shit before stating your opinion….there is no such person in the legislature for the state of Texas…fact check for yourself…what dumb ass wrote the false tail..
People! Calm down, the entire article is a satire. Look in the right hand column below the Twitter feed where it clearly states “Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.”
[…] Texas legislator drops marijuana cigarette while speaking on floor | Tribune Herald […]
This is not a real story. It is a poorly written parody.
i am so sick of delusional grandstanding righteous republicans. “Marijuana is a deadly drug”. fuck the fact that it’s impossible to die from it.. use alarmist rhetoric all you want for a veneer of purity. I’m sick of the act and sick of the gullible simpletons falling for it.
This is the biggest load of crap ever! PeoPle get addicted as soon as someone touches it? Come on that’s non sense! And it’s forsure not dangerous. Who are they trying to fool?!! Of course he dosnt get in trouble. Why would he..
Looked at the Texas legislature web page for the represenative in question. Could not find him. Would love to find out if this is true as to comment to my state represenative with out looking like a fool.
Come on Tribune Herald, you jumping into bed with the ONION. Really???
Unfortunately, it took a while, to realize that this was a parody! SADLY, it has the a ring of truth…
What good purpose can an article like this serve? From the comments we can see that many people are fooled into believing this is actually a real story (it fooled me too). There are plenty of cases of rethuglican hypocrisy out there, stuff that infuriates me, without muddying the waters with fake stories. Really…what purpose does it serve?
Uhhh, it exposed idiots… Satire is used to draw attention to absurd reality. Been an art form for several thousand years, I think. Are you aware of the pupose of literature in general???
The satire disclaimer doesn’t show up on my phone. That may be why people think it’s real.
Excuse me, just because locking AMERICANS UP “creates” jobs IT ISNT A VALID REASON DO DO IT ASS. IF YOU TAX AND REGULATE WEED YOU ALSO “CREATE” A TON OF JOBS.
Don’t bogart that joint, my friend. Pass it over to me.
This seems like a b.s. story. I checked the list of state representatives in Texas and there is no Tom Alvin! Looks like some folks are very gullible! While I am a liberal, and proud of it, I hate these type of fictional stories. I hate it when they are used against The President and also when used to bolster the liberal agenda. I don’t think I would ever buy a paper from a organization which publishes bogus stories. How could you not fact check a story like this? If it sounds too good to be true it probably is!
It’s a gag. Look at the other stories ‘child eats K2 and eats doll’s face’. Lol
Ha! This is cool. I didn’t see it was for satire only. Good story!
The truth is even more satirical and points out the corporate control of our state and federal legislatures,,almost every legislator,,federal and state went to college and most tried marijuana and a lot of them sat around with their buddies swearing that if they ever got the chance,,they would end the insanity surrounding marijuana prohibition,,they swore to it right up until they found out how much it paid to be anti-marijuana.
This site and the Onion are one in the same…….But ……keep looking and listening because some politician are just this hypocritical in the positions they take on drug and other public
policies!!!
What a douchebag!
Thing is — this is the kind of story which those of us who live in Texas would have NO problem believing could actually happen at the Lege. Our District Attorney is in jail right now for DWI (her blood alcohol was over three times the legal limit); we routinely have legislators busted for visiting prostitutes during the legislative session and they win re-election; our governor is a national joke (and disgrace) — this story is perfectly believable to any Texan!
Dang, I believed this for a minute, lol.
Why would a government that BLOWS over 1 billion a year fighting this bogus part of the WAR ON DRUGS. Ever legalize something that most people have already enjoyed. Even the ASSHATS we call ELECTED OFFICIALS imbibe at some point or another. It’s just another way for the lowlife s in power to skim the hard workers of this country out of their hard earned tax dollars
Outrageously hilarious all those who left appalled comments following the piece at the tribuneherald site. On a related note, I wrote and published an “article” once for DrugWar.com, stating “The War on Some Drugs is Over! Former Drug Czar says it was all an ‘unfortunate misunderstanding’.” You might imagine but I doubt it, the number of not just incredulous but outright angry emails to me about How Dare You Publish Such Fakery?!?!” (Making it even worse though was that I’d published it on April 1st.)
http://www.drugwar.com/pwarisover.shtm
WHO CARES,WANTING TO DEBATE OVER A BUCH OF B.S. WITH WHAT IS GOING ON.JUST PROVES MY POINT THAT ALMOST ALL ELECTED OFFICALS WANT TO BLAME THE OTHER PARTY. THIS IS PETTY.TO ARREST SOMONE DOES NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM OF UNEMPLOYMENT, IT JUST MAKES THE TAXPAYER POORER THE RICH GET RIGHER AND THE POOR GET POORER!THERE IS NO MIDDLE CLASS NO MORE,JUST READ THE ARTICLE IN FORBES MAG. MONDAY’S EDITION ABOUT GOOD JOB’S,BAD JOB’S.I DID.ADDED AND AVERAGED GOOD AND BAD JUST TO PROVE MY POINT.JIMMY ADKINS
Dipwads. Look to the right of your screen. See the words “Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.”
Wow. ” state legislators enjoy special privileges that other people do not”
This is pretty funny, better than the onion!
He wants to jail people for a joint but has it himself ,,what a hypocrite he needs to do time and see for himself that the punishment doesn’t fit the crime I don’t smoke pot but I don’t see people killing others while impaired as I do alcohol . We need to look at it more .Hard drugs yes jail time .This guy needs to be held to a higher standard.
Yeah, cause jailing people is going to save the state money… you must be high. http://www.reuters.com/article/2009/03/02/us-usa-prisons-idUSTRE5215TW20090302
You can become addicted by just touching it? LOL, i want the stuff he has been smoking.
I swear I only read the article…I didn’t comprehend it though…
politicians should serve two terms – one in office and the other in jail. David
This guy is an IDIOT! This is a bunch of BS and of course it is a DUMB REPUBLICAN!!! Say no more!!
He said we need to keep putting those people in jail so they can work for the state WOW marijuana can ruin your life if you get caught with it if you are one of those people
Everything he said about marijuana (addictive, etc.) is simply wrong.
This is the dumbest crap I’ve heard. I moved to Illinois for a reason. We don’t have hypocritical idiots running our government.
Some people are very stupid. The paper didnt make up the story, the senator was interviewed and made comments…unless you are suggesting the whole story is dud…in which case I expect he will sue the paper….! some of you guys obviously give your senators a very easy ride…blaming the papers rather than your elected senators.
okay so it cost the government 50k to house a prisoner for a year. Then when they get out you have to pay a probation officer to babysit them. Give them tests to make sure they are not using. That is not cheap. So wouldn’t it make sense to legalize the herb and tax it. Then you are making money on the herb. Plus you can create jobs by opening dispenseraries, growers, then you can start growing just the hemp and use that to make everything you see around you. Honestly, I think the elected officials in our government are some of the stupidest people around. How can you say this herb is dangerous when all the studies are coming back saying that it is not dangerous, cures cancer, and is helpful to more people then the pharma companies pills are. We as Americans really need to learn to think for ourselves. Do your research on these things. Come on people, do you really want to live like this? All government officials should be kicked out of office, the people need to get in there and re-do all the bad shit these morons have started. I am sickened by this, you should be too
And we sit back and wonder what’s wrong with this country ! Look at the mind set of the people running the country ,double standard having ,dope smoking legislators . Why don’t we legalize the use of marijuana and grow it and tax it ? Think of the jobs it would create, medical uses etc. As of right now the only people making money on it are street dealers .
[…] in jail for minor drug offenses (you can get hooked just by touching marijuana, he said) when a joint fell out of his pocket. Then there was the kid who got his ass burned in a fire because he was sagging his pants, and […]
THIS IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE!
“Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.”
Ever since the ONION everyone wants in on the act but it is only serving to confuse and misinform people….
too many of these stories are too close to reality. When reality sounds like fiction…
Don’t think I’ve ever heard more ignorant, un-American comments than these made by representative Tom Alvin (R) Altruria. The great medical benefits of cannabis (Marijuana) are becoming more widely known every day. For Tom Alvin to advocate for keeping medicine from seriously ill people, so that he can help maintain the profits of the private prison industry, is a crime against his own people of Texas. One day marijuana will be readily available to all people. It is happening, and will continue to happen, as idiots like Alvin fade into obscurity.
Amen, hopefully all these douche bag elected officials that are too busy making money from these companies soon all disappear.
You all DO know there is no Altruria, Texas and there is no Tom Alvin in the Texas Legislature, don’t you?
[…] Tribune Herald […]
Has anyone noticed the articles on the side?? This is satire people……………
I can’t believe that this hasn’t made the news in Houston, people need to know about this. How can he get away with saying and doing this its ridiculous and makes me want to give up trying to talk sense into anyone.
They should have to live by the same laws as us.
Of course, the joke is all on you: I live in Texas, and there is NO city named Altruria, and no member of the Texas Legislature named Tom Alvin.
We do have plenty of legislators stupid enough to do something as the spoof Tom Alvin did — but there is no Tom Alvin in our Legislature.
How the fuck are you goig to post fake news u pieces of shit need a life
Quality posts is the main to attract the people to visit the
site, that’s what this web site is providing.
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