Tag Archives: Texas

Texas school bans George Strait song for encouraging sexual promiscuity

Check-Yes-or-NoA Texas school has banned a song by country music singer George Strait because they say it is encouraging sexual promiscuity in students. They are currently looking at banning the singer entirely for fear of the message he is sending to kids.

It all began when a gym teacher from Altruria ISD found two fifth grade students kissing on the playground. They say it began with the passing of a note in class earlier that day which asked the other student to check yes or no if they would “love” them later on. School administrators fear that the term love is now becoming a code word for intercourse. Continue reading

Cannabis missionaries arrested in Texas, may face death penalty

Pictured above: two texts commonly carried by a pair of cannabis missionaries recently arrested in Texas.

ALTRURIA, Texas — A pair of cannabis missionaries were arrested this past weekend in the small Texas town of Altruria, as the two men now face a possible death sentence for their actions. Continue reading

Texas legislature fails on abortion, passes masturbation bill

Texas legislators successfully pass pro-life bill.

Texas legislators successfully pass pro-life bill.

Coming down to the final minute as Texas Lt. Governor David Dewhurst forced Sen. Wendy Davis to end her filibuster, the legislature was unable to pass a widely decried abortion bill. The legislature was able to accomplish another aspect of their pro-life agenda though, a ban on male masturbation.

One Texas lawmaker joyously announced after the passing of the measure, “this marks a milestone for the pro-life movement! We must protect the unborn any way we can; I’m very proud that my fellow legislators voted to protect life, even in its earliest stages!” Continue reading

City closes all schools, builds $400 million Juvenile Retention and Education Center

The city of Altruria provides a picture of what the new Juvenile Retention and Education Center will look like.

The city of Altruria provides a picture of what the new Juvenile Retention and Education Center will look like.

A Texas city has opted to close all seven of its schools and build one complex that officials are calling a “Juvenile Retention and Education Center.”

Citing budget cutbacks, the city of Altruria is in the process of building a $400 million holding facility which will house the area’s students. Once completed, all of the school buildings will be torn down; buildings some of which were built just three years ago.

Officials say that the students will then be transferred to the new facility where they will be held for 10 hours each day and will focus on memorizing and learning only administrator approved material. Continue reading

Texas legislator drops marijuana cigarette while speaking on floor

Texas HouseWhile speaking during the Texas legislative session, representative Tom Alvin (R) Altruria, dropped something unexpected on the House floor. Upon picking up the item, cameras caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a marijuana cigarette. Continue reading

Child smokes K2, eats dolls face

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ALTRURIA, Texas — A six-year-old child accused of biting a dolls head off in a kindergarten classroom allegedly smoked K2, also known as “Spice,” before the incident.

Although school officials remain silent on the event, authorities from the Altruria police department were called to Altruria Elementary School on Friday afternoon, May 17, after a pipe and small bag of K2 were found in the child’s possession following an incident where the child allegedly bit the head off of a doll in a kindergarten classroom.

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Man’s life saved by glass pipe, dies in custody after arrest for paraphernalia

pipeA man died today after being arrested at the hospital for possession of paraphernalia.

Texas authorities arrested 28-year-old Tony Levy at Passmoore Plains Hospital after an off duty officer noticed Levy in the ER being in possession of a small pipe, known as a one-hitter, which they suspect was used to smoke cannabis.

Levy had an allergic reaction to a bee sting on his neck, swelling his throat shut. His friends acted quickly to make a tracheotomy with the only thing they had, a pipe, effectively saving his life and allowing him to breathe until they made it to the hospital. Continue reading