Tag Archives: George Spooner

Local political activist group achieves success through no effort

A local political activist group has been accomplishing big things by holding monthly meetings and talking at one another about their political problems. Continue reading

2014 Super Bowl to feature Predator Drone demonstration

predator droneThe NFL announced today that they would be expanding the 2014 Super Bowl halftime show to include a predator drone demonstration. Continue reading

Environmental organization seeks to make Santa more eco-friendly through regulation

coalA national environmentalist group is lobbying the government for new regulations on Christmas advertising in an attempt to make Santa more eco-friendly.

The Organization for Environmental Progress, or OEP, has submitted proposed regulations to congress which would change the way advertisements portray Santa Clause by restricting references to him giving out coal as a present. Continue reading

Two friends forget conversation, retrieve it from police in FOIA request

After a night of drinking and brainstorming great ideas, two locals forgot to write any of their thoughts down and were at a loss the next day when trying to remember what they talked about. Being resourceful though, they quickly devised a way to retrieve their seemingly lost conversation.

The two headed up to the Altruria Police Department and through a public information request, were able to get copies of recordings done by the department’s eavesdropping division. Continue reading

Pimps organize to protest legalizing prostitution

sex-workers-rights

In an attempt to secure their economic interests, pimps across the country are organizing to protest and lobby against efforts to legalize prostitution.

“It’s hard for a pimp out there!” stated A Pimp Named Slipback. “We can’t be having bitches running their own lives; what about us hard working pimps who provide turf security? We deserve our cut too. I mean, I hit my hoes a lot less than other pimps; and those who have to work for the gangs, well lets just say my bitches are in paradise. My working conditions are far better than others” he exclaimed. Continue reading

Texas school bans George Strait song for encouraging sexual promiscuity

Check-Yes-or-NoA Texas school has banned a song by country music singer George Strait because they say it is encouraging sexual promiscuity in students. They are currently looking at banning the singer entirely for fear of the message he is sending to kids.

It all began when a gym teacher from Altruria ISD found two fifth grade students kissing on the playground. They say it began with the passing of a note in class earlier that day which asked the other student to check yes or no if they would “love” them later on. School administrators fear that the term love is now becoming a code word for intercourse. Continue reading

Local Christians unconcerned about business owner’s open anti-Christian policy

Wallace's Grocery

After a local business owner publicly denounced the Christian way of life, Christians in the area have largely reacted with indifference. Continue reading