Chipping workers and monitoring their every move will make them more efficient

Restroom usage, casual conversations, leaning against the wall, blinking eyes, and generally unnecessary movement stops costs companies trillions in wasted productivity. This results in businesses having to pay unreasonable amounts of money to slacking employees who come to work but end up taking advantage of employers. This can be solved by measuring the bio-metrics of workers to ensure that they can no longer game the system and steal from the backbone of America.

By making this a mandatory part of the employment agreement, businesses can begin to ensure that those who do the greatest amount of work are rewarded the most. Every time an employee stops working, they would then be off the clock and not paid for their time spent in the restroom or chatting up other thieving colleagues. If they work at a computer, we can measure how often their eyes blink and appropriately deduct that time. This can also be used to justify that more help is not actually needed and that better time management strategies could be utilized by employees.

David Arnold, an employed mechanic, is generally supportive of the measure, stating “this is a very reasonable request. It’s long past time that we bring some accountability to this issue. Besides, they’ll never be able to tell the difference between when I’m texting or turning a wrench, and I get paid by the job anyways.”

Not all business owners are completely on board with the idea though. Some cite the cost of implementation for this technology and instead prefer to use more proven methods.

“This really isn’t necessary,” states Howard Johnson, CEO of a major manufacturing company. “We can instead realize savings by dropping pay, converting some of the employees to salary and working them longer hours to cover for the positions that are eliminated, while converting other positions to part time without benefits, and making promises that improved production will lead to small increases in pay and more frequent pizza parties. This works especially well in a region where employers can agree to keep pay low by using external justifications, even if they don’t have much basis in reality. If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it, because that’s just going to cost more money.”

Stopping legalized theft by workers is paramount to the survival of our great economic system as we know it. The only real question here is, why shouldn’t we be able to track employees at home as well to ensure that their actions aren’t negligent to the company’s bottom line?

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