Category Archives: Sports

Man destined for failure during pool league night

A man is destined for failure in his local pool league this week after watching a video on Facebook of a professional billiards player making a sick shot in 9 Ball. Continue reading

2014 Super Bowl to feature Predator Drone demonstration

predator droneThe NFL announced today that they would be expanding the 2014 Super Bowl halftime show to include a predator drone demonstration. Continue reading

Texas Rangers bring Nolan Ryan out of retirement and into starting rotation

The Texas Rangers are set to bring Nolan Ryan out of retirement to face the Houston Astros.

The Texas Rangers are set to bring Nolan Ryan out of retirement to face the Houston Astros.

With injuries plaguing the Rangers pitching staff and several weeks of lackluster performance, the team has decided to bring their CEO, Nolan Ryan, out of retirement to give their pitching a boost until key players can make it back and improve their game.

Ryan last played in 1993, pitching for the Rangers. Now at 66 years old, he hopes to extend his strikeout record, which currently stands at 5,714. Randy Johnson sits in second for most strikeouts with 839.

He has a lifetime win percentage of .526 which Ryan believes he can “significantly increase” during his outings this season for the Rangers. Continue reading

Umpire ruins little leaguer’s shot at majors

baseball fieldBoos rained down as the strike three call was made; the bat never moved. 12-year-old Billy Tompkins stood at the plate in disbelief giving the umpire, Bo Washington, the dirtiest look he could muster.

The pitch was a perfect inside corner strike to end the game and send the winning team into the playoffs.

Billy’s mother stood just behind the backstop, shouting obscenities at Washington for what she viewed as the worst call in the history of baseball. Continue reading

Houston Astros sign little league pitcher, may promote him to majors this season

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In an unprecedented and unexpected move, the Houston Astros signed 11-year-old little league pitcher Jeff Ward to a multi-year contract on Friday, May 17.

Ward, a left-handed starter boasting a 0.83 ERA with seven wins through 12 starts, will begin his major league career much sooner than he or anyone else expected.

Continue reading

Man sacrifices iPad for Astros’ 11th win

astrosAs 33-year-old Robert Potters sat anxiously listening to the Houston Astros square off with the Detroit Tigers, he made the decision to sacrifice his iPad in order to end the Astros’ six game skid and pick up win number 11 on the season.

“I banged it up a little during the 4th inning, but knew I had to smash it during the 9th inning in order for Brandon Barnes to snag that grand slam from Miguel Cabrera for the final out.” Continue reading

Tim Tebow declared worse than all third-string NFL quarterbacks

tebowAfter being released from the New York Jets, Tim Tebow has been unable to find work as a quarterback in the NFL. General managers from around the league have stated that Tebow’s ability to play at the position is far below even their third string quarterbacks.

Even after turning the Broncos around and leading them to the playoffs, being traded to a team that rarely played him then outright releasing him, Tebow remains confident in his ability to play the position, turning down offers from various teams to play as a tight-end. Continue reading