Tag Archives: news

KKK wins lawsuit against bakery for discrimination

KKK

A Georgia court has ruled in favor of the KKK in a discrimination lawsuit.

A Georgia court has ruled in favor of Marshall Saxby, the Grand Wizard of a local KKK chapter, in a lawsuit stemming from two years ago when a local bakery denied him service. Continue reading

Island nation falls to Islamic rule

A small island nation based on Christian biblical law has fallen to Muslim rule. Christians are fleeing the country ahead of anticipated law changes. Continue reading

Pot legalization leads to riots in Washington and Colorado

Pictured above is a scene from the devastating destruction resulting from marijuana legalization.

Pictured above is a scene from the devastating destruction resulting from marijuana legalization.

Just eight months after Washington and Colorado voted to legalize marijuana, the states are already beginning to feel the detrimental haze set in as their economies are grinding to a halt.

Recent reports indicate homelessness has skyrocketed as pot heads lay in street gutters shooting up weed. Continue reading

Obama to meet and personally arm Syrian rebels with special ‘first gun’

Obama on arming Syrian rebels: "It will be different this time, I promise!"

Obama on arming Syrian rebels: “It will be different this time, I promise!”

President Obama will be moving forward with plans to arm Syrian rebels after congress gave its approval last month.

In a statement released by the White House, Obama is very optimistic about the move stating “I know that every time we’ve done something like this before, it has backfired on us, but this time will be different!” Continue reading

Man spanks wet monkey in middle of Walmart

walmart

Police were called to a local Walmart after customers reported a man spanking his monkey while in the clothing section.

Upon arrival, police tackled Geraldo Santos after a brief chase and promptly charged him with evading arrest, disturbing the peace, and assault on an officer after he wiped a sticky substance in a responder’s face. Continue reading

Texas Rangers bring Nolan Ryan out of retirement and into starting rotation

The Texas Rangers are set to bring Nolan Ryan out of retirement to face the Houston Astros.

The Texas Rangers are set to bring Nolan Ryan out of retirement to face the Houston Astros.

With injuries plaguing the Rangers pitching staff and several weeks of lackluster performance, the team has decided to bring their CEO, Nolan Ryan, out of retirement to give their pitching a boost until key players can make it back and improve their game.

Ryan last played in 1993, pitching for the Rangers. Now at 66 years old, he hopes to extend his strikeout record, which currently stands at 5,714. Randy Johnson sits in second for most strikeouts with 839.

He has a lifetime win percentage of .526 which Ryan believes he can “significantly increase” during his outings this season for the Rangers. Continue reading

Texas legislature fails on abortion, passes masturbation bill

Texas legislators successfully pass pro-life bill.

Texas legislators successfully pass pro-life bill.

Coming down to the final minute as Texas Lt. Governor David Dewhurst forced Sen. Wendy Davis to end her filibuster, the legislature was unable to pass a widely decried abortion bill. The legislature was able to accomplish another aspect of their pro-life agenda though, a ban on male masturbation.

One Texas lawmaker joyously announced after the passing of the measure, “this marks a milestone for the pro-life movement! We must protect the unborn any way we can; I’m very proud that my fellow legislators voted to protect life, even in its earliest stages!” Continue reading