Tag Archives: George Spooner

Man sacrifices iPad for Astros’ 11th win

astrosAs 33-year-old Robert Potters sat anxiously listening to the Houston Astros square off with the Detroit Tigers, he made the decision to sacrifice his iPad in order to end the Astros’ six game skid and pick up win number 11 on the season.

“I banged it up a little during the 4th inning, but knew I had to smash it during the 9th inning in order for Brandon Barnes to snag that grand slam from Miguel Cabrera for the final out.” Continue reading

Tim Tebow declared worse than all third-string NFL quarterbacks

tebowAfter being released from the New York Jets, Tim Tebow has been unable to find work as a quarterback in the NFL. General managers from around the league have stated that Tebow’s ability to play at the position is far below even their third string quarterbacks.

Even after turning the Broncos around and leading them to the playoffs, being traded to a team that rarely played him then outright releasing him, Tebow remains confident in his ability to play the position, turning down offers from various teams to play as a tight-end. Continue reading

Man’s life saved by glass pipe, dies in custody after arrest for paraphernalia

pipeA man died today after being arrested at the hospital for possession of paraphernalia.

Texas authorities arrested 28-year-old Tony Levy at Passmoore Plains Hospital after an off duty officer noticed Levy in the ER being in possession of a small pipe, known as a one-hitter, which they suspect was used to smoke cannabis.

Levy had an allergic reaction to a bee sting on his neck, swelling his throat shut. His friends acted quickly to make a tracheotomy with the only thing they had, a pipe, effectively saving his life and allowing him to breathe until they made it to the hospital. Continue reading

Federal officials to force new recommended .001 intoxication limits on states

drunk-drivingThe federal government recommended today that states lower the legal driving limit of intoxication to .001 blood alcohol content after being pressured by Mothers Against Intoxicated Driving “MAID.”

“We oppose anyone driving while impaired for any reason” said MAID spokesperson Clara Walker. She further stated “anyone who would oppose this sensible new limit of .001 is simply a supporter of drunk driving.” Continue reading