Category Archives: Politics

Local political activist group achieves success through no effort

A local political activist group has been accomplishing big things by holding monthly meetings and talking at one another about their political problems. Continue reading

2014 Super Bowl to feature Predator Drone demonstration

predator droneThe NFL announced today that they would be expanding the 2014 Super Bowl halftime show to include a predator drone demonstration. Continue reading

Environmental organization seeks to make Santa more eco-friendly through regulation

coalA national environmentalist group is lobbying the government for new regulations on Christmas advertising in an attempt to make Santa more eco-friendly.

The Organization for Environmental Progress, or OEP, has submitted proposed regulations to congress which would change the way advertisements portray Santa Clause by restricting references to him giving out coal as a present. Continue reading

Two friends forget conversation, retrieve it from police in FOIA request

After a night of drinking and brainstorming great ideas, two locals forgot to write any of their thoughts down and were at a loss the next day when trying to remember what they talked about. Being resourceful though, they quickly devised a way to retrieve their seemingly lost conversation.

The two headed up to the Altruria Police Department and through a public information request, were able to get copies of recordings done by the department’s eavesdropping division. Continue reading

Pimps organize to protest legalizing prostitution

sex-workers-rights

In an attempt to secure their economic interests, pimps across the country are organizing to protest and lobby against efforts to legalize prostitution.

“It’s hard for a pimp out there!” stated A Pimp Named Slipback. “We can’t be having bitches running their own lives; what about us hard working pimps who provide turf security? We deserve our cut too. I mean, I hit my hoes a lot less than other pimps; and those who have to work for the gangs, well lets just say my bitches are in paradise. My working conditions are far better than others” he exclaimed. Continue reading

New York to effectively ban McDonald’s

mcdonalds-Big-MacIf you’re looking to score a Big Mac in New York, you might be out of luck. New regulations proposed in New York would effectively ban McDonald’s from the city.

You may remember not long ago there was an attempt to ban certain sizes of sodas, but ultimately the ban was ruled unconstitutional. Now there is a new approach to safety measures in the Big Apple. Continue reading

KKK wins lawsuit against bakery for discrimination

KKK

A Georgia court has ruled in favor of the KKK in a discrimination lawsuit.

A Georgia court has ruled in favor of Marshall Saxby, the Grand Wizard of a local KKK chapter, in a lawsuit stemming from two years ago when a local bakery denied him service. Continue reading