Pot legalization leads to riots in Washington and Colorado

Pictured above is a scene from the devastating destruction resulting from marijuana legalization.

Pictured above is a scene from the devastating destruction resulting from marijuana legalization.

Just eight months after Washington and Colorado voted to legalize marijuana, the states are already beginning to feel the detrimental haze set in as their economies are grinding to a halt.

Recent reports indicate homelessness has skyrocketed as pot heads lay in street gutters shooting up weed.

Police have had their hands full with rioters as people storm the streets, trashing store fronts and overturning cars as they demand free pot be provided as part of the food-stamp program.

So far the only thing keeping the drug from flooding the streets are the tough regulations being imposed by the states and cities which have ensured that only a select few can grow and sell the plant. This has also led to high prices, ensuring that even fewer people are able to consume cannabis.

Vehicular crashes are up 369 percent as clouds of smoke drift out of vehicles and block visibility on the major high ways. There have even been reports of a man who ran over a young girl on a bicycle as he was leaving the drive through of a fast food restaurant.

Worker productivity is at an all time low as people spend up to five hours of their work day taking smoke breaks while the disability rolls have swelled from workplace accidents.

As a sign of things to come, these states are already seeing vast amounts of school children overdosing on heroin due to the message that marijuana legalization has sent.

Critics fear that in time, consuming marijuana will be as socially acceptable as alcohol and that society will be oblivious to the damage done by it.

By: George M. Spooner
Contact George via email at TribuneHeraldNews@gmail.com

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45 thoughts on “Pot legalization leads to riots in Washington and Colorado

  1. FSM Pasta August 1, 2013 at 10:43 am Reply

    What a load of BS. Shooting up pot? How does this garbage even pass for journalism. I live in Colorado. This is a pure work of fiction.

    • Anthony August 1, 2013 at 10:50 am Reply

      HAHAHA this is a satire site.

  2. Steve August 1, 2013 at 10:58 am Reply

    Even IF you didn’t know that the Tribune Herald was a satirical site, the “shooting up pot” line should tip anyone off that this article is a joke.

  3. Adin August 1, 2013 at 11:00 am Reply

    FSM, you realize this is a satire site… Right?

    • Juan August 3, 2013 at 10:55 am Reply

      No, if this article or any other comes up in a google search, there is no clear indication that you are looking at a satire site. Also, there are many idiots who believe or otherwise perpetuate information like this. So it is hard to assume that this is satire even though you can’t take it serious.

      A simple header on the website: “the worlds best dumb reporting” would clear this up.

      • Sam Wayne Smith August 3, 2013 at 7:24 pm

        Uhhhhh, Juan, this is the disclaimer printed on the page…. “Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.” If a quick read of the other articles didn’t clue you, then I think you have little or no sense of humor…;-R

  4. Abe Frohman August 1, 2013 at 11:10 am Reply

    HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY???

    • Chip Little August 1, 2013 at 11:38 am Reply

      Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.

  5. Susan Gamba Rungo-de Geus August 1, 2013 at 1:30 pm Reply

    After I read this, I had to be sure to scroll down for the comments, because I knew that some people would not “get it.” HAHA – jokes on you!

  6. Sean fuhlman August 1, 2013 at 2:02 pm Reply

    Just wondering how do you shoot up pot. Amlso technically it is a food item not cooked. However my tax money should not be used on shit I gotta pay 60 a bag for.

  7. Smokey McPot August 1, 2013 at 2:37 pm Reply

    Lol……just plain lol at the stupidity in this article, truth or fiction.

  8. Satan Lucifer Beelzebub August 1, 2013 at 3:22 pm Reply

    LOL! It is satire. Anyone who takes it seriously needs their head examined.

  9. Michael Foote August 1, 2013 at 4:40 pm Reply

    This joke doesn’t do any good for anybody.

    • Michael Foote August 2, 2013 at 12:01 am Reply

      its does more to set marajuana reform back than it does to satirize it.

  10. Devon August 1, 2013 at 4:53 pm Reply

    Hahaha. Shooting up pot and riots. A pothead would barely get off the couch to get a bag of chips let alone riot… Sooo funny.

    • brett September 8, 2013 at 11:47 am Reply

      I wouldn’t agree with that. I smoke pot everyday. I work 12 hours a day and I am a full time student online. Getting off the couch to get some chips isn’t a problem.

  11. Julie August 1, 2013 at 6:39 pm Reply

    This is a complete load of BS…I am in Colorado and was a Cop, we are having NONE of these problems, someone should do their homework before writing such crap, it is not even for sale at the retail level….not until 1-1-14…no riots in Colorado…and I can promise you there is no shooting up either…

    • AreYou MyMummy August 1, 2013 at 8:16 pm Reply

      lol This is a satirical site.

    • FSM's Sister August 1, 2013 at 8:50 pm Reply

      you are correct… it’s satire…

    • Sam Wayne Smith August 3, 2013 at 7:22 pm Reply

      Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only. This is the disclaimer on the page…;-D

  12. Preston Brown August 1, 2013 at 8:09 pm Reply

    This is written to poke fun of all of those that believe the propaganda that has built up over the years to demonize marijuana, and keep it illegal.

  13. Bartleby the Scrivener August 1, 2013 at 11:18 pm Reply

    Pothead riot: A bunch of guys sitting on couches saying, “Mellow out, man!”

  14. mark August 2, 2013 at 12:20 am Reply

    This just in: readers who take this story literally are pooping their pants in record numbers.

    • Abby Normal November 14, 2013 at 1:38 am Reply

      Word, G$!

  15. Horizon August 2, 2013 at 4:20 am Reply

    priceless

  16. ROSE August 2, 2013 at 10:09 am Reply

    THE SAD THING IS A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE TOTALLY AGAINST ANYTHING, EXCEPT GETTING DRUNK, WILL BELIEVE THIS CRAP.

  17. JustMe August 2, 2013 at 10:41 am Reply

    Our states are grinding to a halt in the economy because of SEQUESTRATION – NOT MARIJUANA!! Sequestration in our area is furloughing over 10,000 workers and affecting thousands of families. You want to do some good with your rag – tell the truth. People who aren’t affected by these furloughs go about their business as if nothing is happening. Try taking over $200 a pay period out of your family’s money available for paying the budget and see how you feel. We make our budgets work – unlike politicians who are spending someone else’s money!!!

  18. Joe August 2, 2013 at 2:35 pm Reply

    Just one question, of everyone who read this and thought it was real….how many of you were seriously high as fuck when you read it?

  19. Johnny August 2, 2013 at 3:17 pm Reply

    I live in Seattle and I can tell you that this much is true…. they gather outside our houses and our workplaces…. waiting for us to come out just so that they can steal what little money we have and get even more pot….. my wife left me so she could go smoke pot all day long…. some say she was last seen killing someone for their stash…. I think they’re coming…. I hear them scratching the door…. oh please help me, they’re trying to come in….. someone please do something! They’re in! We should have never legalized it!! May the world learn from our mistake… I wish I nev44444444444444444444444444444444444444

    • Sam Wayne Smith August 3, 2013 at 7:27 pm Reply

      Damn, you live in South Park too??? It is worse in White Center…;-D

  20. Rae Jo Kae August 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm Reply

    HILARIOUS!!

  21. therealsmucktalkers August 2, 2013 at 7:37 pm Reply

    Reblogged this on Smuck Talk and commented:
    This is great. Kids and their hip-hop, ruining this country I tell ya! RUINING IT!
    The best part is the moron that commented to the story all pissed off.
    It’s called satire my friend, and it’s a beautiful thing.

    • Abby Normal November 14, 2013 at 1:37 am Reply

      Word!

  22. William D. Cleirigh August 2, 2013 at 10:28 pm Reply

    The problem with this is that there are WAY TOO MANY idiots that will believe this crap, and they are in positions of authority.

  23. kdfjsl klsdfkj August 2, 2013 at 10:50 pm Reply

    that is the thing, whoever wrote this is going to make alot of idiots believe it and be against it; that is bad news for everybody….

  24. Juan August 3, 2013 at 10:51 am Reply

    After reading and pondering the content of this article, the only logical conclusion is it must be the work of a troll.

    If you are in some strange capacity being serious, then you need to provide objective facts not just something that fits your “anti-pot” view. Also, where are your anti-alcohol, anti-cigarettes, anti-caffeine, anti-sugar, and anti- processed foods articles???

    • Sam Wayne Smith August 3, 2013 at 7:29 pm Reply

      Uhhhhh, Juan.. it is a freaking joke dude. Chill the frack out… See it says so on the page…. “Tribune Herald is for satirical purposes only.”

  25. ejohnson September 25, 2013 at 10:44 am Reply

    I would only like to say this is an incredibly irresponsible arcticle. Though for some its obvious sarcasm I fear their is still a large group of dimly educated. Fools that could actually believe it.

    • Abby Normal November 14, 2013 at 1:37 am Reply

      Oh, come on now…like pot heads are really capable of overturning cars… heh heh

  26. Luke McEvoy September 28, 2013 at 3:27 pm Reply

    my biggest fear and i think its a fear shared by many, that the near legalazation of marijuana will lead to some terrfying resurgence of flares, big hair and prog rock.

  27. Abby Normal November 14, 2013 at 1:34 am Reply

    This article is hilarious!!! I didn’t realize it was a satirical site til I read “shooting up weed.”
    Brilliant George M. Spooner. Brilliant.

  28. Quadrow November 25, 2013 at 6:20 pm Reply

    Know joke man that’s bad when you shoot that stuff, I lost my whole arm doing that, I think? Oh no that’s right I found it later. what was I thinking?

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